Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Treatise on Procrastination, Its Many Benifits, and the Continuation of Life and Fun

I've discovered the secret to writing about procrastination - in order to avoid putting it off till later, you have to be procrastiating on something else before hand. For example, an English paper that's due the following day for a book you haven't read in over a month.

I was going to do something cool like make a graph or something to illustrate the point that I'm about to make, but that would be too much work. So we'll cut right to the thesis statement of this post...

Procrastination leads to longer life.

Yes, procrastination leads to longer life. It has been hypothetically scientifically proven that those who procrastinate on stupid things like homework and other activities have much lower stress levels, as they are able to have much more fun in their lives. These lower stress levels lead to more balanced blood pressure, a lack of heart problems, and increased endorphine levels.

Those who do not procrastinate spread this stress out over many days. This leads to higher blood pressure, heart attacks, and cronic social-pariahism. True, they may have less work to get done at one time, but as a result of their so called "dilligence" they are forced to miss out on the more important things in like - namely people (but also TV and books and Video Games).

Besides, without pressure, we'd never have diamonds.

Going off to not do work,
James
Procrastinator Extrodinaire, Hypothetical Scientest, Skilled Putter-Offer, etc., etc.

3 comments:

  1. Holy cow James, I couldn't stop laughing once I read this...it's just that awesome. Great work!

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  2. Ha ha, thanks. I have my occasional moment of brilliance =P

    ReplyDelete